


gunpowder, gelatine

by Biggus Slickus (crownlessliestheking)



Series: at the end of the day [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Brief Mentions of Explosions, Character Study, Explosives, Friendship, Gen, Hats, Humanstuck, I love CD so much, Insomnia, Stream of Consciousness, Subtext, The Author's Self-Indulgence, The Golden Girls - Freeform, writing experiment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25215451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownlessliestheking/pseuds/Biggus%20Slickus
Summary: Sometimes he even hangs out with you although come to think of it maybe that's just because you show up on his couch when you're bored or in the area sometimes and when you do that late at night he does have a very sharp looking sword, but he always puts it back away when he sees that it's you and doesn't even sound angry or anything when he asks how you got in here and you just point at the door, so that's definitely okay.
Relationships: Diamonds Droog/Spades Slick/Dirk Strider (Background), Dirk Strider & Clubs Deuce
Series: at the end of the day [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821157
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	gunpowder, gelatine

**Author's Note:**

> Spent 10 minutes on AO3 trying to find a Hobbit fic that had a style I read like 5-8 years ago, really enjoyed and thought CD would sound like, only to Google the first line of it and have it come up instantly. Bless. 
> 
> You do, in fact, need the rest of this verse to have context for this. My own reasoning for writing? I wanted to fuck around with subtext, stream of consciousness, and also write CD and Dirk hanging out. You know CD is the only one of the Crew who knows what a meme is.

You hum to yourself as you walk through the streets because it’s too quiet otherwise and you don’t really like the quiet that much, although maybe you shouldn’t call it quiet because the car alarms are screaming but that’s in the distance and you don’t think you’ll be hearing them for very long. You give the flaming tire in front of you a little kick and wow, it really does keep rolling even doing a little bounce although your toes feel very warm for a moment afterwards so maybe it wasn’t the best idea either. But it did bounce very nicely, even if it knocks into a street sign five seconds later and falls flat on its side with a sad little thud.

Maybe you should pick it back up and-

Oh! You know that sign, you know where you are. And the boss didn’t tell you to come right back or that you couldn’t take breaks in between your work for tonight and really it would just be five minutes (okay, it could be a lot longer than five minutes but as long as you get it done before sunup no one is going to complain too much even if they were going to complain about you at all, they like you and you knoooow it), so instead of going straight you make a jaunty little left turn and adjust your hat so it’s sitting properly on your head because you’re going to visit someone! And he’s not like Diamonds (him in-the-suits-and-smokes) who cares lots and lots about you being right and proper all the times but he tells you that you’re his favorite sometimes and that makes you feel pretty nice even if you don’t really think it’s true because boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy) and Diamonds (him in-the-suits-and-smokes) are with him more often which means that he likes them more probably but you think (maybe, just maybe) that you’re also nicer (and less pointy, and less angry) so you always try to be a little bit right and proper when you know he’s going to be around. Besides, Hearts (him with the gentle-angry-hands) is never even a little bit right and proper around him because they don’t get along for reasons that you really just don’t understand so you feel like you should make up for that. Only a little bit, though. Even if they did get along you would want to put on a good face and your best hat.

You haven’t seen him in a while you’re pretty sure but he is busy and not always with the Crew (them that’s family-close-and-family-fights), but he’s been around less often now and you think, maybe, you might miss talking to him because he shows you very strange but very funny memes when everyone else is talking business and think you’re not listening and okay, they’re right, but that’s just because you don’t need to be instead of you being silly (you always know the important bits anyway). And sometimes he even hangs out with you alone although come to think of it maybe that's just because you show up on his couch when you're bored or in the area sometimes (like now!) and when you do that late at night he does have a very sharp looking sword, but he always puts it back away when he sees that it's you and doesn't even sound angry or anything when he asks how you got in here and you just point at the door, so that's definitely okay.

And you _are_ in the area and it _doesn’t_ take that long to scurry up to his apartment even if the stairs leave you pretty winded because there’s so many of them you always feel like they’re going to go on forever and ever and you’re just going to be trapped in these stairs in an endless loop because it all looks the same, except you always get to his floor before you can really think about it. You always tell him that maybe he should live somewhere with an elevator and he always tells you that you were warned about the stairs bro which you now know is a quote from a movie that his brother makes and you don’t really get but he talks about them a lot with you and they’re funny enough even if you, personally, don’t get them. You voiced that to him once and he said it was fine and that they were both too stupid and also incredibly genius so not many people did get them and you told him that made no kind of sense to you either.

You let yourself in with only a little bit more trouble than usual because you have to dodge some falling sharp things (that’s new!) and also a tripwire (also new) but you just hop over that and click your heels together a little bit for effort, and oh, he’s already awake and waiting for you, that’s very nice. He looks surprised to see you but he always does because you are very good at surprises. You tell him hello and he says hello back except his voice sounds funnier than usual and his glasses aren’t on so you can see bright eyes instead of pointy dark glass, and you can smell the coffee bitter-dark in the air but you’re Not Ever Allowed to have coffee after when you had all them chocolate covered coffee beans let alone what boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy) snarls out is the jet fuel he (him who you’re visiting now that’s not-Crew-shades-and-freckles, you mean) drinks so you ask if you can have some soda maybe when he asks you if you want anything to drink or eat. You have your candy after all so you don’t really need anything to eat and he doesn’t always have sweet things around, just a lot of citrus-tang-sour things and sometimes the little black fish or dogs for Diamonds (him in the suits-and-smokes) and the boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy) but you don’t really like those and you have your little black bears instead you take them out of your hat.

You get yourself nice and comfy on his couch once he’s really very _extremely_ sure that you don’t have anything that’s going to explode immediately on you (he pinches sparks off one of your longest fuses very carefully) and it’s all piled up very neatly at the door a little bit away from your shoes (he’ll remind you to pick everything up on the way out like he always does because he says he doesn’t want you to forget anything you need and also that he doesn’t really want to have that many explosives where he lives, which you think is pretty silly because who wouldn’t?) you kick your legs in the air a little bit while you’re at it even if your feet can touch the ground because it’s fun to do that and you don’t like being still very much. You wiggle your toes in your socks and they look funny that way, like-

Oh! A glass gets set down in front of you and you stare for a moment before you hear the bubblies and realize yes, you did ask for soda and it isn’t even orange and he’s got that just for you so you take a big sip and don’t even cough because you forgot how much soda burns going all the way bubbling down your throat. You tell him thank you and offer one of your bears (you’re still being very right and proper) even if you’re a little bit happy when he says no thank you.

He asks if you’re done with work for the night and you do like how he makes it sound like you have a real job and you’re the most professional and you tell him not yet but you’re on break, and no one said that you couldn’t take any breaks, so here you are. He pauses for a moment and asks why it is you came to visit him on your break, seeing as you could be doing anything else. Painting the town red, he says, and you think that’s a good idea, which you tell him. Maybe a sort of explosion that’d spew paint everywhere would be good. You haven’t tried that kind of thing before, and you think it would be fun to do.

But you tell him that you were in the neighbhorhood and thought you might as well drop by in case he would like some company, because you thought you might like some company, and his face goes from flat to just a little bit crumpled, so you pat his hand even if yours is cold and a little bit sticky. You might have spilled some of the soda but you’re pretending that you didn’t and he’s letting you pretend. His hand is a lot bigger than yours but not as scarred and also with more fingers, but you keep patting it and he keeps letting you and you think maybe you’re cheering him up which is good. You’re good at cheering people up even if most of the people around you don’t like to show that they’ve been cheered up, but that’s okay because you know.

He asks if you’d like him to remind you to go back to work for the night and you still like how he makes it sound like you have a real and professional job like in an office like in The Office, and you think it over and say that’s probably a good idea, when he adds that he doesn’t want you to get in trouble for hanging out with him. While on the job, he adds. You don’t know why you’d get in trouble for that, since no one told you that you were Not Allowed to visit him, so you just say that you won’t get in trouble, since you’re on a break, and you’re allowed to take breaks. He’s got nothing to say to that, but he looks less crumpled so you decide to move your hand and have some more soda, and-

Oh! Are you watching The Golden Girls, you ask, and you aren’t even trying not to sound pleased about it. He says yes, he is; he likes watching reruns when he can’t sleep. You think he doesn’t sleep very often, but neither do you, so it’s nice to have company that way. You tell him that you like Rose a lot, and he says that you remind him of her. You think about that for a little bit and then say you don’t know which of them he is, and he suggests that he’s Dorothy, maybe. You agree, because he’s too tall to be Sophia, and too himself to be Blanche, and you’re already Rose so he can’t be her.

He thinks about that for a moment and then nods, and winces a little. Maybe he doesn’t want to be Dorothy after all. He _does_ sound like Blanche sometimes, although you don’t think that he knows that you know he does. You don’t understand how someone’s voice changes that much when they’re arguing with someone but you also know you weren’t supposed to hear that argument at all even if you don’t know who he was arguing with or what it was about or anything like that. You’d just backed away very quick and very quiet and not told anyone about it because no one had asked. You wouldn’t change your voice for anything other than impressions.

You tell him that you do a very good impression of the boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy), and he asks to hear it. You think that he sounds genuinely curious about it, and that’s good. So you do the impression, and you pitch your voice lower and hissy as best you can, although you don’t cuss as much as the boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy) does, and he points that out. Four out of five hats, he says. No, you know what, four point five out of five hats, he corrects. You’re pleased with that, but you do want to know what _kind_ of hats is he talking, and why is a hat being cut in half. He tells you that no hats were harmed in the making of this ranking.

On TV, Sophia is doing her bit about picturing things in Sicily so you close your eyes for a minute to do just that. 1922. You take this very seriously. It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times, after all. You have some trouble with the Brigitte Nielsen bit but you do know what breasts are, and what a yellow Rolls Royce is, even if you are not interested in any of those things other than that they were all there in Sicily, 1922, and that suddenly pepperoni is missing but then there is a stream full of it, and it’s raining pepperoni. This is very hard to picture and you realize it’s probably a metaphor but you’re trying anyway, and you ask him (not-Crew-shades-and-freckles, you mean) if it could rain pepperoni.

He asks if you’ve seen a movie called Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and you have not. He says if you stop by another time and want to watch it he’ll put it on. You tell him you probably won’t remember to, but he says it’s alright since he’ll remember, and that seems fine to you. He adds that it’s animated, and it still seems fine to you. You wonder if you could make it rain pepperoni if you blew up a pepperoni factor. You wonder if pepperoni factories are a thing. You don’t think you want to blow up a pizzeria since they wouldn’t let you in afterwards and you do like pizza at times. Though not always with pepperoni. Maybe you can get some after you’re done-

Oh, he’s talking now, and you have to pay attention so you do but you only catch about half the sentence so you just sit and wait for him to repeat it. People repeat things around you a lot and you’re usually okay with it, although he doesn’t always so you just blink at him until he does this time. It turns out he was asking how everyone else was, and you remember (again) that he has been around less often and has been mentioned less often. Not that you would ever on purpose accidentally listen to Diamonds (him in the suits-and-smokes) and the boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy) talking about anything privately let alone him but you are very quick and very quiet and sometimes that means you hear things no one means you to but you don’t ever tell other people about them so that makes it okay.

So you tell him that things are fine and the Crew-your-family is also fine and that’s very true. He asks after the boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy), although he calls him Spades, and you say that the boss (him that’s all-sharp-and-pointy) is fine although he stabbed someone fifteen times instead of ten the other day. He asks after Diamonds (him in the suits-and-smokes) and you say that he’s also fine although he’s smoking more and you don’t really like it when you’re in the hideout because it gets everywhere and while you regular smoke you don’t like tobacco smoke. He doesn’t ask after Hearts (with the gentle-angry-hands), but they don’t get along well so you weren’t expecting it specifically anyway. He doesn’t ask after you either and you nearly get offended before you remember that you’re right here and he knows how you’re doing because of that.

You have another bear and ask him if he wants you to tell them anything because that would be a nice thing for all of them, you think. He says that he doesn’t want to be any trouble and you tell him to quit worrying about all that trouble that doesn’t exist or you’re going to whack him with your cane. You even shake it a little so he knows you’re serious. He says he respects the cane a lot, and he’s quiet for a little bit but you try hard to pay attention because you think he’s going to say something important, and then he does talk and he asks if you could just pass on that he said hello. Hellos are important, you suppose. They’re a good place to start. He sighs all rustyandraw and then asks if you wouldn’t mind letting them know he asked after them and he’s glad to hear they’re doing well, and that he’s doing okay, too. He says that they wouldn’t ask, but he wants them to know all the same and you say you know that’s true, but you’ll tell them anyway. You want to know if he needs a response and he says no it’s alright, he just would like them to know.

You aren’t sure why he wouldn’t be doing okay although you don’t think that he would tell you if you asked, so you just patpatpat his hand again, and yours isn’t sticky this time now that you’ve finished your soda. You decide that you should cheer him up some more (you’re good at it and you know that), and you also know that compliments are a way to do that. On screen, Blanche is fanning herself and you watch for a moment but it isn’t because someone complimented her so you don’t pay too much attention.

You tell him you think that’s a very nice necklace he has on although you didn’t think white was something he wore a lot, and he just gives you a look that you can’t tell if it’s sad or angry or tired but it makes you ache down to your toes before he says he usually doesn’t but he’s glad you like it and do you think he should get one in black, and the look is gone afterwards so you think very hard about your answer before you say yes but maybe it shouldn’t be so plain, and he nods like he’s thinking this over and says maybe you’ll help him pick one out another time then. You say that you’re not allowed in plenty of stores so you’ll need to be very sneaky and he suggests online shopping and oh- there are so many things you can buy online but you like being in stores to touch and see the things for _real_ real in front of you, but you decide that you shouldn’t say that and you just agree that yes that sounds good to you and would he also help you pick out a new hat in exchange? He agrees and you’re very happy with that. You think he probably needs to get out more and while you’re still not allowed in plenty of stores, you are allowed in the hat shop (and also a suit shop, that’s where Diamonds (him in the suits-and-smokes, that is) gets his suits) because you would never do anything to damage a hat. And they have very nice hats there.

Maybe he can get a hat for himself, you venture, and he shakes his head, and oh, his face is doing something again _and_ now he’s sitting a little funny as he moves, holding himself very very still and upright. He isn’t leaning against the side of the couch like usual, either, or slouched low. Well. Good posture is important when you need to be right and proper and if he wants to be also right and proper for you in return you aren’t going to argue that, no way. You think that’s probably Diamonds (him in the suits-and-smokes) telling him to do that, like he tells you to.

No hats, he tells you. He doesn’t wear them because he puts too much work into his hair, he reminds you. Yes but wouldn’t it be nice to have a hat that wasn’t just on a shirt, you say. A real goddamn good hat, you say. You remind him that everyone else has very stylish hats. He says he isn’t part of the Crew and therefore wouldn’t presume to be hatted like the Crew, and you say okay, that’s true, but the hats _are_ very nice aren’t they. But you guess he could wear a hat like those that’re on his shirt of he wants.

He says no very fast and very sharp and you have never seen him angry but you have seen lots of angry people and you think he might be close but also sad about it. He apologizes and says the two of you should just watch TV now.

You’re okay with that, so you turn back and sit through two whole episodes and two stories (one about St. Olaf, which sounds like a very strange place to you but you might want to visit sometime if it were real; and one about Sicily, 1922, which you do better at picturing than the first one) before he tells you that it’s been an hour and is your break over, and-

Oh! So it is. You don’t really want to go just yet but you put your gummy bears away under your hat very carefully and then he helps you pack up everything by the door again, and he makes very sure you have it all before seeing you off.

You think that he looks a little bit happier as you go on your way so you’ll come visit again although maybe not tonight, and you take one of the knives from the floor near the door because it’s neat and you’re allowed to pass more than just what he said on, you think.

Peace offerings are another thing you’re very good at even if you don’t do it very often.


End file.
